Laverne Cox’s graduation speech at Pitzer reveals a recent revelation Twitter gave her

Jacquelyn Aguilera, senior class speaker for Pitzer College’s 55th commencement, said she was there Saturday for the same reason as many of her fellow graduates — to take a photo with Laverne Cox.

However, the actress and activist left the class with far more than selfies with a celebrity.

Cox acknowledged agonizing over the right words to send off the graduates. She started her speech quoting author and social activist Bell Hooks’ book, “Yearning.”

“‘Language is a place of struggle. The oppressed struggle in language to recover ourselves, to reconcile, to reunite, to renew,’” she said.

She equated that struggle to the sensitivity of inclusion, something that was raised in her own Twitter feed just days ago.

Cox said she was reading Twitter posts about the recent abortion ban in Alabama, her home state, and was too upset and overwhelmed to know how to address it, if at all. She decided to share her opinion by retweeting a friend’s post that said, “a woman’s body, a woman’s choice. End of story.”

Someone replied to the shared post saying, “Laverne, how are you going to erase your trans brothers?”

Cox’s initial reaction was defensive, but she said when she feels that way, she makes a point to get curious. “If I feel defensive, something is going on.”

Thank you for this. This discussion has brought up much for me that I am processing. https://t.co/1rxbllLS5f

— Laverne Cox (@Lavernecox) May 15, 2019

At first, Cox wanted to keep the conversation focused on the issue, abortion, because adding transgender people and people male-assigned at birth who identify as women to the pregnancy equation would complicate the issue, muddy it for some.

But then she realized that excluding certain groups only perpetuates the problem. People who identify as women are not the only ones affected by anti-abortion laws, Cox said.

“I thought for the first time, ‘What if I was a transgender man, assigned female at birth and identified as a male, and I became pregnant unintentionally?’”

“All of the language around abortion is about women,” she added. “I would really want to have language that incorporated and included my experience,” Cox said. “Language that is appropriate and fully inclusive is a matter of life or death for so many people,”

“When we don’t have to think about or deal with something in our own lives, that is an incredible privilege,” Cox said, turning her attention to the 264 graduates, ranging in age from 20 to 50 years old, from 31 states and 13 countries, according to Claremont-based Pitzer.

“As you go out into the world, you’re going to be faced with a lot of difficult decisions, things that will make you uncomfortable, that are nuanced and difficult,” she said.

Their first inclination might be to keep issues simple. “But when we are leaving people out, we are not really doing the work to be inclusive,” she said.

As a person who constantly preaches inclusivity, Cox said she had an noninclusive moment herself with the retweet.

“No matter how enlightened we think we are, there is still a lot of work we have to do,” Cox said.

She also quoted Tarana Burke, founder of the #metoo movement. “We are collectively traumatized,” Cox said. She said that makes her often ask herself, “if we were to collectively heal, what would that look like?”

For many years, she said she didn’t own being trans because when she began her transition, in 1998, the norm was for transgender people to transition and try to completely hide their former identity.

Cox said she felt like a failure when people misgendered and harassed her.

“I had finally accepted who I was, I had taken the steps to live more authentically in a gender that I knew that I was and the world was not reflecting that back to me,” Cox said.

Years ago, when she thought she was going to die by suicide, Cox said she typed notes saying, “My name is Laverne Cox. I should not be referred to by any other name. My preferred gender pronouns are she and her; I should not be referred to by any other pronouns.”

She stuck the notes in her pockets and around her apartment, “so that I was not misgendered in my death the same way I was in life,” Cox said.

“I’m so grateful that I didn’t (die by suicide) because now I understand I’m here for a divine purpose,” Cox said.

“I am not a failure if people see me as a trans woman,”  she said.

Cox, best known for her role on Netflix series, “Orange Is the New Black,” is a two-time Emmy-nominated actress and Emmy-winning producer. She is the first trans woman of color to have a leading role on a mainstream scripted television show, and the first openly trans person to be nominated for an Emmy in an acting category.

“You might leave here today with very specific ideas about what your path will be. You’ll get where you’re supposed to be, but you’ll have a lot of detours,” Cox said.