Senior Living: How we handle adversity determines our mental – and physical – health

By David W. Hart, Ph.D. 

Contributing writer

Let’s experiment for a moment.

Imagine society is divided between two types of people: those who painstakingly build mountains out of molehills and others who graciously transform lemons into lemonade. Obviously, these poles are extremes and most of us would fall somewhere in the middle. But who do you suppose would live longer with levels of disability?

If you guessed the latter, you are correct. According to the Harvard School of Public Health’s landmark longitudinal study on adult development, how one copes is significantly correlated with longer life expectancy and optimal physical, psychological, and social functioning.

Noted as one of the preeminent studies on aging, the project identified variables that promote what Dr. George Vaillant, the study’s previous lead investigator, described as vital reaction to change. And this vitality in the midst of changes related to age is a significant predictor of resiliency.

Resilience is the result of successful adaptation to adversity. It’s the ability to stand up after being knocked down. Resilience is a decision to find the silver lining. Ultimately, the concept of resilience can be described as both a personality characteristic that establishes an individual’s baseline early on and later becomes an intention to emerge stronger in the midst of life’s stressors.

How can we promote resilience in our everyday lives?

According to the study’s current lead investigator, Dr. Robert Waldinger, we should focus on the quality, not quantity, of relationships in our lives.

Shouldering the burdens of life can be stressful. Having family and friends who have our backs provides emotional security, hope, and optimism.

The Harvard study found that participants who were most satisfied in their relationships at 50 were the healthiest at age 80. Relationship satisfaction at age 50 comprised a greater share of the variance of health outcomes at 80 than cholesterol levels at age 50. That’s big news — and ought to be considered as you cultivate and practice resilience in later life.

For those of you interested in strengthening your resiliency quotient, you might think about how to cultivate new relationships or deepen the ones you have.

Meaningful relationships are the resources that help us hit the curve balls life throws our way. They serve as significant sources of purpose and motivation to keep going when the going gets tough. Maybe you join a social group at your place of worship or decide to take that cruise you’ve always wanted to go on despite your single status.

Another strategy may include developing a family communication plan, such as monthly meet-ups, group text messages, or even a family Facebook page for pictures, calendaring and message sharing. Finding opportunities to exercise a signature strength through volunteering or engaging in a favorite hobby or pastime may also provide another avenue toward expanding your personal connections and increasing resiliency.

Additional behaviors leading to resilience include:

• Optimism: intentionally looking for the upside and focusing on what works;
• Sense of purpose: identifying and amplifying what gives life meaning; and
• Activity: doing more of what brings joy to your life.

To further assess personal resilience, ask yourself the following questions:

• How do you handle change? Is it working for you?
• What do you do when you face difficulties?
• What lessons can we learn from life’s difficulties?
• What benefits might come from stressful situations?
• What has contributed to your longevity?  What have you done that’s brought you this far?

However you choose to move forward, it’s worth noting that despite losses and physical decline, older adults report higher levels of subjective well-being and less psychopathology than younger segments of the population.

Ask yourself what you’re doing right – because if you’ve gotten this far, well, you know the rest.

It’s OK to give yourself a pat on the back for what’s working, too. If you need help identifying resources to help strengthen your own resilience, don’t hesitate to be in touch with me. I may be able to connect you to some means of assistance.

Support group

For those of you who are diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment or early stage Alzheimer’s disease or a related dementia, you might consider applying for a spot in the upcoming Memory Club – an 8-week psycho-educational support group for patients and care partners.

The free program, sponsored by Always Best Care South Bay, Beach Cities Health District, and Alzheimer’s Los Angeles, is set to begin in late March. Email me for more information

In the meantime, be well!

David Hart, Ph.D., is the director of clinical services at Always Best Care Senior Services in Torrance and is a faculty member in the Department of Counseling at California State University, Fullerton.  Hart, founding chair and member of the South Bay Dementia Education Consortium, specializes in working with older adults with dementia and their families. For more information, go to alwaysbestcaresouthbay.com or contact him at dhart@abc-seniors.com or at (310) 792-8666.